Forbidden Page 4

  “You know the reason for that. Jim said he needs access to every bedroom at all times of the day or night. What if there was a fire?”

  I knew fire was a big thing with my mother, which was why she would bring that up as an excuse. When she was a kid, the apartment building they lived in caught fire. They didn’t have much, but they lost everything.

  I already knew the excuses about Jim needing access to my bedroom at all times. I felt sick thinking about it and how my mother always turned a deaf ear and a blind eye to it.

  “I’m moving out,” I suddenly blurted out.

  She laughed. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I didn’t have many options. Maybe I could rent a room. I knew at this point I wouldn’t be able to get a dorm at Rutgers. That was even assuming I could go there. I wasn’t even sure how I would afford a place and still go to school, but I knew I couldn’t live with my mother and stepfather anymore. There was only one option left; one person who promised to always have a room for me.

  “I’ll move in with Dad,” I said.

  She laughed and began pulling her new clothes out from the bags. Holding up a little black dress against her body, she turned to me. “What do you think? Nice? It was on sale,” she said. “Why don’t you give Jim and me a little extra this month so we can go out to dinner?”

  She didn’t ask for money, she made it sound like she was, like she was being nice, but her tone and the look in her eye made it clear her statement was a demand.

  How can this be my mother? I wondered. Why can’t she at least pretend to care about me? Shouldn’t a mother care about her child?

  I couldn’t believe her. I couldn’t believe how much she could only think about herself, and I definitely couldn’t believe she was ignoring what I said about moving out.

  “Did you hear me?” I asked.

  “What? That joke about living with your dad? Yes, I heard that.” She rolled her eyes before dumping another bag of just purchased clothing onto her bed. “You go right ahead. You think we’re strict, just wait until you see how your dad is.”

  That was the problem. I didn’t know my dad that well. With him and Joanna living around the corner, I saw him a little more frequently, but we still never spoke very much. I felt like we were still trying to get to know each other, but I also knew that he cared about me. Unlike my mother.

  Whenever I went to his house, Dad reminded me I had a bedroom. Joanna had decorated it with photos of my dad and I through the years and the room always had fresh flowers in it. I knew it was my bedroom, but it felt like a shrine and not my room.

  My mother was right. I didn’t really know what it would be like living with him. I hadn’t spent more than a day with my father in the fifteen years since they divorced. As Mom continued looking over her new clothing, I heard Jim’s footsteps on the stairs. I had a choice to make--the devil I knew or the one I didn’t.

  “I’m moving in with Dad,” I said.

  II

  The Boy Next Door—Literally

  Chapter Six

  Rosalie

  Living with my dad and Joanna ended up being one of the best decisions I had ever made. The only downside to the month I had been there was my obsession over what happened to Shane grew even more.

  There weren’t any photos of Shane anywhere in the house. Joanna never mentioned him either. It had been two and a half years since I last saw him, but whenever I closed my eyes, I could still feel the heat of his lips pressed against mine.

  With only a few weeks left before I started college at Rutgers, my dad insisted I cut back on my hours at work. I was working part time at the bank, but now my money was going to go towards saving for school and not to my mother and stepfather. My dad even said he’d help pay for college. I didn’t think things could get better.

  As I walked up the driveway after working that morning, Dad and Joanna were leaving the house. I smiled at Joanna, but she walked past me as if I wasn’t there and got into the passenger seat of my dad’s Toyota.

  “Is she alright?” I asked.

  “She’ll be fine. She’s just anxious,” Dad said. “Shane is coming. We’re going to pick him up now.”

  Shane is coming! In all the time since I last saw him, I hadn’t met anyone who could replace Shane. In my head, I started to do a happy dance.

  “I can go with you. Where has he been?” I asked, trying to control my excitement.

  “I think it’s better if you stay here. Joanna’s already pretty upset.” My father lowered his voice. “Don’t say anything, but Shane was in jail again.”

  “Again?”

  “Yes, again. I told you, he’s had a tough life. Trouble seems to follow him, and with his past, he can’t seem to catch a break. I can’t get into it now, but I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough. One of the terms of his parole is that he can’t live with his father because of all the trouble he’s been in. I don’t know how long he’ll be here, but he’s moving in.”

  I waved as my dad and Joanna drove away, but the real reason I was still outside was that I was too stunned to move. The one guy I had lusted over for the past year was going to be under the same roof, in the same house, sleeping on the other side of a wall from me.

  It felt like forever before I heard my dad’s car back in the driveway. I had changed out of my work clothes into a pair of jeans, but I barely remembered doing it. All I could think about was Shane coming and his being in jail. Again.

  Again? I wanted answers. Why was he there? I had a hard time believing Seth’s pot was enough to put him away for so long, but what else could have happened to him? I had to know.

  As soon as Shane got out of the car, I could see the difference two and half years away made. His shoulders looked wider and the muscles on his arms were thicker than they were before. He had sunglasses covering his eyes and his hair was shorter. His clenched jaw told me he did not want to be here.

  Shane was walking ahead of them carrying a large duffel bag. I opened the door as they approached and he took a step back when he saw me. His face contorted with disgust.

  “What the fuck is she doing here?” he asked.

  He pushed past me, his boots echoing through the house as he headed straight for the stairs. Joanna looked worn out and my dad looked helpless as they came in. It was obvious neither of them were going to explain anything.

  I felt uneasy hearing Shane’s footsteps in the hall upstairs. I didn’t know if he remembered which room was his, and I was still sensitive about my space. I heard my bedroom door creak open and raced after him.

  “That’s not your room,” I said.

  He looked around. “It’s nice though. Maybe we should switch.”

  “You haven’t even seen your room. It’s nice too.”

  “I don’t need to see it. I know the princess gets the better room.” He took his sunglasses off and glared at me. “Am I right?”

  His tone made me cringe. Somehow, in my excitement of hearing he was coming back, I forgot one simple thing. He hated me.

  Shane pushed past me and walked farther down the hall to his room. The door slammed shut.

  I closed my bedroom door and reached the top of the stairs to head back down when I turned around and walked down the hall to his bedroom. I didn’t know what his problem with me was, but if he was going to live here, I needed to talk to him. I knocked on the door.

  “Go the fuck away,” he said.

  I raised my hand to knock again, but didn’t. What was I doing? He obviously didn’t want to talk to me, so why was I pushing?

  From the first moment I saw Shane, there was something about him I couldn’t resist. I was never the kind of girl to follow a guy or swoon whenever one was around. Hell, I was never the girl who used the word swoon. But that had been Shane’s effect on me from day one, and it didn’t change now that he was back.

  As I came downstairs, I overheard my dad and Joanna talking in the kitchen. I stopped on the steps where they couldn’t see me so I could list
en.

  “How long do you think Shane will stay?” Dad asked.

  “I don’t know. He’s never wanted to stay with me before. Knowing him, he’ll get himself in trouble again soon. I’m just worried because he’s an adult now.”

  There was silence between them, but I waited, expecting them to continue talking.

  “I’m going to check on Rosalie,” Dad said.

  Crap! I’m caught! I thought as I stood frozen on the steps.

  “Oh, there you are,” Dad said, looking surprised to find me. “How about a walk?”

  That was my dad’s code for when he wanted to talk without Joanna around. I put on my sneakers and we headed out the door. We were a block away from home before my dad said anything.

  “I wanted to talk to you about Shane,” he said. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with him living here. Joanna didn’t tell me he was coming until this morning. I don’t think she expected him to stay.”

  “You said he was in jail?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, for drugs, like his dad. I don’t know everything, but he’s had a rough life. I really think he’s a good kid, he just needs someone to believe in him.”

  I felt so bad hearing Shane was in jail for drugs, I couldn’t say anything else. It was my fault he was in jail. Why didn’t he tell them that? Questions swam through my head, but I knew my dad didn’t have the answers. If I wanted to know what really happened, I needed to get Shane to talk to me.

  “I just wanted to tell you that if you feel uncomfortable with him here, just say the word and he’s gone,” Dad said.

  “No, I’m fine,” I said. “He doesn’t bother me. I’m sure everything will be okay.”

  When we got back from our walk, Joanna said dinner was almost ready. I went to my room to change clothes. I was a little sweaty and figured I could take a quick shower before dinner.

  The bathroom door was closed, but sometimes I closed it out of habit. I opened the door and a wall of steam enveloped me, confusing me.

  What the hell? Did I leave the water running?

  As I entered the bathroom, the shower curtain slid open and Shane stepped out of the shower and onto the fuzzy rug. He was naked except for the towel he was drying his hair with.

  I wanted to turn around and leave the bathroom, but I was paralyzed by the sight of him. The water dripping down his body was mesmerizing. And when my eyes reached his cock, I let out a small gasp. I had never seen one so big.

  “Do I get a welcome fuck?” he asked.

  “A what?”

  “Why else would you be in here? Didn’t you hear the shower?”

  “I… I forgot we shared a bathroom,” I said, still not looking away.

  “You can’t even stop staring, can you?”

  “I...uhh...wow,” I stammered, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. Why couldn’t I look away?

  “Hello to your big new friend, huh?” he said with a laugh, his voice sounding lighthearted. “You know where to find me if you ever need it. Maybe this arrangement isn’t so bad. How about a little tit for tat?”

  He flexed his muscles, making his tattoos jump, then winked at me. I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “I promise I won’t tell,” he said as he cocked his brow, and for the first time, I wondered if he was serious.

  He left the bathroom and I splashed water on my face, trying to get the image of his cock out of my mind, but it was firmly planted in there. Firmly. And I had to admit I didn’t mind.

  Dinner was almost ready, so I didn’t have enough time to shower. I was a little worried Shane might walk in on me for a little tit for tat anyway. The night was warm, so I put on a pair of shorts with a t-shirt and went downstairs.

  My father sat at the head of the table with Joanna on one side and an empty spot on the other. Next to the empty spot was Shane. He gave me a big smile and patted the empty seat.

  “Saved a seat for you.”

  “Jackass,” I muttered as I passed him.

  I sat next to him and like a magnet, my eyes went to his lap. His jeans were so tight I could see the outline of his cock. He grabbed his bulge, and I looked up and caught his sly look. I knew I was in trouble.

  Throughout dinner, I forced myself to not look at Shane. I refused to look in his direction. I was on edge. What if he said something about my looking at him?

  “I hope you’re settling in, Shane,” my dad said.

  “Yeah, I think I’ll have a good time here. I took a shower before and our Rosalie here--"

  “I swear I didn’t see anything,” I blurted out.

  My father gave me a weird look but didn’t say anything. I looked down, and my eyes went back to Shane’s bulge again.

  Dammit! Look away, Rosalie!

  “As I was saying, our Rosalie here has a nice selection of bath wash and shampoo. I hope you don’t mind that I used your stuff.”

  “It’s no problem,” I said, wishing dinner was over.

  “If I have anything you want, you know where to get it,” he said, grinning. “I’m a firm believer in tit for tat.”

  My cheeks burned, but I kept my eyes on my plate and pushed the food around. I couldn’t eat, my mind was elsewhere.

  I poured myself a glass of water and as I took a sip, Shane’s hand touched my bare thigh. I tried to act cool, like nothing was happening, but then his hand moved up, closer to my shorts. I jerked my leg away and spilled some water onto me.

  “I’m sorry I got you wet,” Shane whispered. “By the way, your nipples are hard.”

  I folded my arms over my chest and tried to act like nothing happened. Shane stood from the table and picked up his plate.

  “I love eating out in my bedroom,” he said.

  “That’s fine, dear,” Joanna said. “Let me know if you need anything.”

  Eating out. Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me was horrified by how immature he was acting, but another part of me desperately wished I was his dinner.

  The next day I found Shane pacing in front of the front bay window. His hands opened and closed into fists and I could hear him muttering, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I thought about what my father said about drugs and wondered if I was wrong about it being my fault.

  “You have a car, right? You have to drive me into town,” he said.

  “What for? What makes you think I want to drive you anywhere?”

  “Because you’re a nice person and not a bitch. Although I’ve been wrong before.”

  “Tell me why you were such an asshole to me yesterday and I’ll drive you.”

  “It’s complicated,” he said. “Forget I asked.”

  “Then at least tell me what happened that day in school with Seth.”

  “I’ll tell you during the drive.”

  “Fine,” I said as I grabbed my keys. “Where are we going?”

  “Just drive downtown, I’ll let you know when we get there.”

  As I started the engine, I couldn’t help thinking wow! Shane Ventana is in my car! It made me feel like an idiot. I tried to act calm and cool, like it wasn’t a big deal, but deep inside I was a nervous wreck. Any minute now I’d do something stupid like when I choked at dinner. That was my luck.

  “So what happened at school?” I asked.

  “I’m sure you heard. I was arrested. They sent me to juvie.”

  “But you didn’t do anything.”

  “Didn’t matter,” he said. “I had enough priors. The judge thought he could threaten me with juvie and I’d tell them everything they wanted to know.”

  “Then why didn’t you? Why would you protect Seth?”

  “It wasn’t Seth I was protecting,” he said. “What happened to me wasn’t about Seth’s deals. They got him so they were happy. Unfortunately, my priors came up and that caused some problems.”

  “What did you do?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  Shane turned towards the window and was quiet for a moment. I didn't know what to think anymore. Was it my
fault he ended up in jail? Or would he have ended up there eventually anyway?

  “Turn up here,” he said. “Make this right.”

  “There? Are you crazy?”

  “Just do it.”

  We were in a part of town I only drove through before, usually with my windows up and the doors locked. The old brick buildings were worn and several were boarded up. The turn Shane wanted me to make looked more like an alley than a street.

  He’s going to buy drugs, I thought.

  The alley led to a small parking lot. I stopped the car and Shane got out then popped his head back into the car.

  “You coming?” he asked.

  “No, I think it’s better if I stay right here.”

  “All alone in your big ass boat? I don’t think your dad would like that.”

  He closed the car door and started walking towards a peeling white door with a faded sign I couldn’t read. Shane turned back to me and grinned before disappearing inside.

  The minutes dragged by slowly. Every sound made me jump. A large van entered the parking lot and parked close to my car, and every serial killer I had heard about flashed across my mind. I'd had enough of my overactive imagination and turned the car off and rushed over to the door Shane had entered.

  A musty smell hit me as I entered and I fought the urge to sneeze. When I looked around, I realized I was in an art supply store. Aisles of paints, paper, canvas, pencils, everything imaginable was in front of me.

  I started walking past the aisles wondering where Shane was and found him filling a basket with oil and acrylic paints.

  “Why couldn’t you tell me this was where you wanted to go?” I asked.

  “Because I wanted to see if you trusted me enough to just take me.”

  “So you were testing me?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t trust many people, why would anyone trust me?”

  “So you paint?”

  “When I can. It relaxes me.”

  “Can I see your work?”