Choosing Him Read online

  "Always running away. Au revoir my dear." As the doors began to close, he shook his his head and ran his fingers through his black hair.

  "So, what's wrong with him? He's asked you out and you haven't gone, there's gotta be something wrong with him. I thought he seemed nice. Plus he's gorgeous!"

  "Yes, he is gorgeous. And a pastry chef. Specializes in chocolate."

  "Yeah, so...?"

  "I don't know. I guess I look at him and I just don't believe it. I mean why me? He seems perfect, he can have anyone. Plus I know I'll just end up getting hurt. We're neighbors, I don't want to run into him after we break up."

  "I've never heard so many bullshit excuses before, Em."

  The elevator opened and they started their brisk walk towards the park.

  "Fine. I can't ok? Jacques asked me out to dinner after that fiasco with Ryan. At first I said yes but I had to cancel. I'll be honest with you, I don't think I can take more disappointment. After the break up with Kyle, then that shit with Ryan, I don't need anything more to add to that. Besides, Jacques is probably in his forties and he's not married, I bet he's no different than Ryan."

  "You never know. I still think you should give him a chance. Go on a date with him. You don't have to jump into bed with him like you did Ryan."

  "What if I want to? I mean you have seen him!" Emily giggled then checked her cell phone which was vibrating in her pocket. It wasn't a number she recognized so she let it go to voicemail. "I don't know Soph, I really just don't think I'm ready."

  Ryan

  "Hey Kid, I just got a new number and wanted to make sure you had it. Give me a call sometime, I'd like to see you."

  Ryan hung up and thought about the voicemail he just left for Emily. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her but was too embarrassed about how he treated her last time to call. Maybe he should've said more in the voicemail, explained something or even apologized, it just wasn't who he was though. He hoped she would call but he absolutely would not chase after her. He'd been burned before.

  Carly haunted him. He pulled out an old photo album with pictures of him and Carly on a tropical vacation from a few years ago. Seeing her smiling face caused an ache in his chest, a pain he'd been living with for the year since she left. Emily relieved that pain but the specter of Carly loomed. He needed to move on.

  Ryan grabbed his phone and continued on his chore of giving his friends his new number. It was time to call Steve who he hadn't spoken to since running into him at the park the day he planned the candlelit evening for Emily.

  "Hey man, it's Ryan"

  "Hey, I thought you fell off the planet or something. I even tried calling you the other day but it said you changed your number."

  "Yeah, long story. Just a lot of shit going on."

  "What do you mean? Even work?"

  "You'd think being a stylist would be easy. I took the job because I wouldn't have to bring work home and I couldn't imagine sitting in an office all day. I never expected so much drama."

  "Drama?"

  "It's nothing I want to talk about really. I think the owner has it in for me though."

  "I wouldn't say this if I didn't think we were close...you sure it's not just you? I just remember some trouble you had with a captain when you were still in the Marines. This reminds me of that."

  "This is nothing like that. You don't know what you're talking about." Ryan immediately regretted calling Steve but figured he would change the topic instead of ending the call. "You said you tried calling me, any reason?"

  "Ah yeah, I'm not sure I should tell you though. I'm worried about you buddy."

  "Spill it. There had to be a reason for you to call," he growled.

  "Remember I told you I started dating a new girl? Lisa? Well she has a friend who knows Carly. Seems she's back in the area."

  "She is? Where? Maybe I–"

  "No Ryan. I've told you before, you need to move on." Steve was quiet for a moment. "She's married. Not just that but she's pregnant too." Silence filled the phone line. "Ryan? Hello?"

  "Yeah man, I'm still here."

  "You ok?"

  "Lisa's wrong. It's someone else. Another Carly."

  "It's her Ryan. I saw pictures." More silence. "I'm sorry. I know how much–"

  "No! She said she didn't want to get married! She said she..." Ryan's voice trailed off as he realized Carly just didn't want to marry him. He felt that pain in his chest again and sat down, recognizing his own heartbreak. "I gotta go." He hung up the phone without another word.

  He realized that during the year that Carly had been gone, he kept hoping she'd get whatever out of her system and come back to him. It wasn't until he heard Steve's news that he realized she was truly gone forever. Carly was perfect. She was smart, beautiful, and had a soft curvy body, a lot like Emily.

  Ryan thought back to that candlelit night in his home when he and Emily made love. His memory was so vivid, he could almost feel her luscious skin in his hands. He remembered how she looked afterward, a soft flush on her cheek, the glow of the candles reflected in her eyes...eyes that were the same color as Carly's.

  He groaned as he replayed in his mind again how he told Emily to leave because he had to get up early. What was wrong with him? He saw how hurt and confused she looked and he ignored it. He even changed his cell number so he wouldn't hear from her.

  Maybe it was for the best. Ryan looked at his phone again and willed it to ring but it didn't. He didn't know what he would do if Emily called. Part of him knew Steve was right, he needed to move on and Emily was exactly his type. Another part, that part that ached and squeezed in his chest, reminded him his heart would only belong to Carly.

  Jacques

  Jacques entered his condo, put his mail on the granite kitchen counter and opened the letter on top. The letter was from his brother Georges in France and while it wasn't more than a paragraph long, he found he was too distracted to focus on it. He welcomed the ringing of the phone and quickly answered it when he saw the caller ID, tossing the letter back on top of the pile of mail.

  "Hello Mama."

  "Bonjour my dear. I want to talk to you about this thing you're doing with your brother."

  "Mama, we're grown men we can handle doing business together."

  Jacques knew it was a waste of time to argue with his mother. She was always stubborn and that seemed to only increase with time. Adele Lambert still had the sharp mind and strong spirit of a woman half her age.

  "Well I don't approve. After all those years you devoted to Cafe Roux. That restaurant was your baby and you gave up so much for it. Your life, your love–"

  "Now Mama, that was the mistake right there. That I chose my work over Gabrielle was foolish. I expected her to wait up late for when I came home and to accept the restaurant life. Yes the restaurant was and still is the jewel of Paris, but there are more important things in life. Georges can take care of it. He's still young enough to enjoy it. I'm in my forties Mama, I want to settle down. Now I have Belle Chocolat."

  "Yes, Belle Chocolat, your silly candy store."

  "Mama, that silly candy store now has seven stores, all extremely profitable." He thought about the video he recorded for Emily on the website and how even though the site was never popular before, that video, his asking Emily out on a date, ended up bringing in even more business. He would've preferred the date to the business though. Jacques longed for more time with her.

  "Yes, because you are a hard worker, but you don't understand the value of hard work. You only think about love." She sighed deeply. "That's my fault. I was still a dreamer when I had you. I just worry about you dear."

  "I know Mama, but again, I'm a grown man."

  "You'll always be my little boy, don't forget that. Now if you're going to have that silly candy store so you have time for a life, I hope you know I'm expecting grandchildren," she teased.

  "Yes Mama." He pretended to sound annoyed then laughed. "I'll talk to you next week. Behave please."


  "I love you too my son." She laughed as she hung up the phone.

  Jacques grew up respecting women. His mother raised him and his brother by herself after their father left her for a younger woman, his secretary. He was old enough to remember the pain that caused his mother and vowed he would never do that to another woman. Adele made sure he and Georges were never without and it made him admire strong, independent women.

  He thought about Emily and how she kept refusing his date. He never had so much trouble getting a woman to go out with him before. He had to admit, he liked it...and he liked her. He enjoyed watching her flush with embarrassment when he complimented her or put her on the spot for canceling on him.

  He knew if she gave him a chance they could be perfect together. All he needed was some time with her. More time than the hallway exchanges she was giving him. He wondered if he could ever convince her to go out with him, but he knew he'd never give up unless she told him to.

  Emily

  After their walk, Sophie called the power company again to see if they had any idea when power would be back on at her place. Emily remembered her phone ringing during the walk and decided to listen to the voicemail, sure it was a wrong number.

  "Hey Kid..." As soon as she heard Ryan's voice her eyes widened and she ran to her room to listen to the message. She replayed it several times wondering if she heard anything in his voice like regret. She wanted any indication that she meant more to him than just a random lay.

  "Hey Em?" Sophie knocked on the open bedroom door. "I'm going to meet the power crew and see if I can get to the bottom of this outage. I'll be back later."

  "Ok, good luck!"

  Emily felt bad but she was glad to be alone. She knew she shouldn't but she had to call Ryan back. If Sophie knew she was calling him, she'd flip out. Emily knew Ryan's call meant nothing, but she couldn't help but wonder if he'd apologize or say something if she was on the phone.

  "Hey Kid, I'm glad you called."

  "You are?"

  "Yeah, its been a while. How have you been?"

  "Umm that's it? You have nothing else to say?"

  "What do you want Kid? It was nice."

  "Don't call me "kid". I'm not a child. And nice?? That's it?? Are you kidding me?!"

  "I told you no commitment. I said this was just for fun."

  "Fuck you Ryan!"

  She hung up the phone and threw it onto her bed. Tears streamed down her face and she angrily wiped at them with the back of her hand.

  "How could I be so stupid?!"

  Someone knocked at the door. Emily wanted to ignore it but her curiosity got the better of her.

  "Oh Jacques, hi." She looked down trying to hide her swollen eyes.

  "Ma chère! Are you ok? What happened?" He immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

  Her body melted into his strong, tall frame and her tears started flowing again. Normally she would've been embarrassed crying in front of Jacques, but she felt so warm and safe being held by him that it didn't even cross her mind.

  "I think you need some chocolate," he whispered.

  She laughed softly and nodded, still unable to speak and he led her down the hall towards his condo. Emily couldn't believe all the bags of chocolate sitting along the long countertop in his kitchen.

  "Wow, I didn't expect this!"

  "You're in luck, I just received a shipment of chocolate from a new source. This chocolate came direct from South America. I make sure all the chocolate I use is harvested responsibly to curb deforestation. The environmental destruction that's done for simple things we use everyday is terrible. I try to do what I can."

  She couldn't help but be impressed with him. Obviously these things meant a lot to him but he wasn't pushing his ideals onto her, just talking about what mattered to him. He opened up each bag which were filled with chocolate discs.

  "Is there a difference between them?" She asked.

  "Each bag has a different percentage of cocoa mass. This one has the most, taste it."

  She bit into the disc and immediately made a face.

  "Oh there must be something wrong with me, if this one has so much cocoa, shouldn't it taste great?"

  "Actually no, the more cocoa it has, the less sugar it has, so its bitter." He laughed and handed her a napkin. "Go ahead and spit it out."

  "You jerk!" She playfully hit him as she laughed. "And after you saw me so upset and crying too! Now give me the good stuff!"

  Jacques kept laughing, it was a deep sound that shook his body. Emily enjoyed watching the muscles in his arms flex as he opened a different bag of chocolate. He looked so happy and relaxed and she knew he wasn't playing any games. She wondered why she waited so long to spend some time with him. He was nothing like Ryan.

  He gave her another disc of chocolate and she gave him a look as she took it from him.

  "Its ok, trust me, that's the good stuff. Just pop it into your mouth and let it slowly melt."

  She followed his instructions and tasted the darkness of the chocolate envelope her tongue.

  "Oh my–! Mmmm! Wow!" He gave her another piece of chocolate and she immediately popped it into her mouth. "This is incredible!"

  "You have to try this one." He smiled and opened another bag of chocolate.

  "Only if you kiss me." Emily looked up at him and smiled.

  "Are you sure? I don't want to be a rebound or anything like that and you were just crying."

  "Ha, no! Please no! I was crying because I'm an idiot, not because of a guy."

  He leaned down and kissed her lips, letting his lips linger on hers. He pulled away and it took her a moment before she opened her eyes and looked at him. They looked into each other's eyes but didn't say anything.

  She suddenly reached up and pulled him close to her, kissing him as his arms slipped around her. She always heard about people seeing fireworks when they kissed someone and she finally understood. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she felt her body melt against his.

  "Does this mean you'll go on a date with me sometime?" His forehead leaned against her's as he smiled and waited for an answer.

  "Yes, absolutely yes!"

  Epilogue

  Two Years Later

  Emily's cell phone rang and she reached to answer it without looking at the caller ID.

  "Hello?"

  "Hey Kid, how have you been?" Ryan asked.

  Emily took a second to respond. She wanted to hang up on him. She couldn't believe his nerve, not just calling her after two years, just calling her period.

  "I already told you not to call me Kid."

  "Yes, Emily, I'm sorry. That's why I'm calling. I just wanted to apologize. I wasn't the man I should have been back when I knew you. I didn't realize how messed up I was until everything fell apart around me."

  "Thanks. I mean its nice to hear you're sorry but it honestly doesn't matter to me anymore, its been such a long time."

  "I know, I really am sorry. I felt really bad about it for all these years. Let me make it up to you, you know I give a great conditioning treatment. I got my own salon now."

  She wanted to say no but she couldn't help but be curious. She agreed to have the treatment done but knew that would be it. She never wanted to see him again but she needed to get past the regrets she still carried with her for sleeping with him.

  She arrived at the salon and felt a little nervous. She had put on a little more weight since the last time she saw him and was worried he might think she was fat now. All she really wanted was for him to think she looked amazing but know he'd never have a chance with her.

  She had been happier than she could ever imagine the past two years. She gained the weight because Jacques loved making chocolate delicacies for her and he didn't care about the extra pounds, he told her everyday how beautiful she was to him and not only that but he made her feel beautiful.

  As she opened the door to Ryan's salon, she smiled and admired the glittering diamond of her engagement ring. Jacques kn
ew she was going there and didn't mind. He understood it was something she needed to do.

  "Hi, I'm Emily, I have a noon appointment with Ryan."

  "Yes, he'll be right with you." The receptionist nodded. "Would you like a glass of cucumber water while you wait?"

  "No thank you, I'll just look at the magazines."

  As Emily walked over to the magazine rack she looked down the long hall. She wanted a glimpse of him, she had to see if he still looked the same.

  "Emily, I'm glad you came. You look great! I'll be right with you." Ryan's voice came from behind her.

  She spun around and took a step back, surprised. Ryan didn't look anything like she expected. His muscles were gone. His thick wavy hair had thinned. Also, in a word, he was huge. She immediately realized how silly she was for worrying about a few extra pounds on her curves. He looked so different she wouldn't have recognized him if she ran into him on the street.

  She continued to the magazine rack and finally burst out laughing as all her stress and regret left her. She couldn't believe how hurt and crazy he made her feel two years ago. She thought about how good looking he was back then and how worried she was about her few extra pounds now.

  About The Author

  Liliana Rhodes is a former Catholic school girl who wanted to become a nun until she "accidentally" read a steamy, sexy novel. She now puts her dirty mind to good use by writing erotica. Using her experiences as well as those of others, Liliana writes hot, steamy sex stories and hopes they bring a satisfied smile to her readers.

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  Copyright

  Wanting Him

  Having Him

  Choosing Him

  Copyright © 2012 by Liliana Rhodes