His One Desire Read online

  As I approached the bar I figured I was out of luck. He must have decided to stay home. I was so obsessed with him I swore I smelled the citrusy spice of his cologne.

  “Do you date all your bosses?”

  He spoke right into my ear and I felt the words pierce my heart. How could he think that? I spun around to face him.

  “You actually think that? How dare you!”

  “Do not make a scene. People are watching. Come with me.”

  He took my hand and led me through a service entrance and into the kitchen. Wait staff moved past without noticing us. He made a quick series of turns and we were suddenly alone, the noise of the party and the kitchen muffled behind stacks of dishes.

  “You have nerve! And what do you care anyway? Even if I was dating���”

  In one swift movement, I was in Xander’s arms. His lips crushed mine and he held me tight against him. I felt my anger slip away as my body melted into his and the electricity from his lips shot through me as his beard gently scratched my skin.

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  “No, I can’t. Drake���”

  “Him?? He’ll get tired of you quicker than you can blink!”

  “You broke up with me remember? You said you couldn’t be around me. Did anything change?”

  “No, you’re right.” He hung his head down and slowly shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I can’t do this to me or to you. You deserve to be happy.” With a tug he loosened his bow tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. “I’m sorry. I miss you but…”

  He looked deep into my eyes for a moment and I held my breath hoping he would kiss me again or change his mind, instead he turned and started to walk away.

  “Wait! Xander!”

  He stopped but didn’t turn. I thought about telling him the truth about Drake and I but I promised Drake my silence, plus I didn’t think it would change his mind. There was so much I wanted to say but nothing came out.

  A cart of dirty dishes went by and he was gone. I felt paralyzed. I lost him again and this time I could only blame myself.

  I returned to the party in a daze. After all the effort I placed into seeing him, I never thought about what I would say. I mentally kicked myself as the old Ashley reminded me I was way out of my league.

  Drake came up beside me and slipped an arm around my waist while he smiled and nodded to some investors.

  “I’ve been looking for you. Is everything alright?” I moved my eyes up to his and his smile dropped. “Let’s take you home. You can tell me what happened.”

  “No, maybe some other time. I don’t want to talk about it but I’m staying by you for the rest of the night.”

  As he kissed the side of my head, I thought about how well Drake was at this charade. I spent the rest of the night with a phony smile plastered on my face as I tried to make sense of what happened with Xander.

  ***

  “He was jealous!” Drake exclaimed. “Listen, I know men, I am one.”

  He pestered me after the benefit, wanting to know what happened but I wouldn’t say a word. When he showed up at my apartment the next morning, I knew I had no choice. He wouldn’t let it go so I told him. Just not all of it. I didn’t tell him about Hawaii, I wasn’t ready for him to recognize me as the stupid girl Xander bossed around in yesterday’s clothes. I only told him the short version of what happened at the fundraiser’s bar.

  “You’re reading too much into it. He is not jealous. Why would he be jealous? He doesn’t care what I do”

  “I can prove you wrong.” He picked up his phone and dialed.

  “What are you doing?? You’re not calling���”

  He put his finger up to silence me and turned the speaker on so I could hear.

  “Xander! I looked all over for you last night. I knew you wouldn’t come.”

  “I was there, I left early. What do you want?”

  “That’s no way to talk to your old pal. I was hoping we could catch up. There’s a lot I need to discuss with you about the museum…and other things.”

  Drake looked like he was in his element. Meanwhile, I had never been so embarrassed in my life.

  “Fine, when do you want to talk?”

  “How about today? I remember you have some fine horses, lets go for a ride.”

  “I’ll see you later,” Xander grunted then hung up.

  “Drake, that proves nothing.”

  “You’ll see. Hope you like horses.”

  “I’ve never ridden one.”

  “Even better.”

  I was quiet during the ride to Jefferson Manor. A huge part of me was dying to know if Xander really was jealous, but another part of me was afraid the answer would be no. Drake wanted me to go along with whatever he said and did. Xander said he missed me, but he also turned away from me. Maybe he needed a jolt to see what he was missing.

  Drake pulled his car around to the stables where we found Xander brushing a tall chestnut horse with a white diamond shape on his face. He had on a pair of loose jeans and cowboys boots with a denim jacket over a faded chambray shirt. I had to stop myself from staring at him.

  I didn’t know what to wear so Drake suggested a dark pair of jeans and an old blue button down top I owned. I didn’t realize until we got out of the car that we were dressed alike. We looked ridiculous, but it was part of his plan.

  Xander did not look happy as we approached. He glanced at us and then looked away and focused on the horse in front of him. Drake was all smiles and walked with his arm around my waist, as we approached he whispered into my ear.

  “Go along with whatever I say.”

  Xander pulled two other horses out of the stable and Drake went to help me get on one of them.

  “I can’t, I don’t know how,” I whispered.

  “What’s wrong?” Xander asked as he walked over.

  “I’ve never been on a horse before.”

  “Here, its easy and this is a really tame horse, you’ll be fine.” Xander held his hand out to me but Drake stepped forward.

  “No, she’s my girlfriend, I can help her.”

  I thought it was funny having two handsome billionaires fighting over me, even if one of them was only playing. Drake helped me get on the horse as Xander walked off. I thought Xander seemed upset but I wasn’t sure.

  Xander climbed on his horse easily and headed into the countryside. Drake held the reigns of mine and began walking alongside it, smiling up at me.

  “This is ridiculous, he’s not even paying attention. And its childish. I just want to go home Drake.”

  “No, I’m telling you, he’s jealous. Look at him, he slowed down, he’s watching. Bend down and give me a kiss.”

  “No!”

  “Do it.” He used his stern voice that I couldn’t help but listen to.

  I leaned down and kissed his lips softly before sitting back up in the saddle. Xander’s horse neighed loudly as he turned it back towards the stables and galloped over to us.

  “I have to cancel. The trail is too covered from the last storm, a new rider shouldn’t be on it.”

  As Xander rode into the stable, I had Drake help me down. I couldn’t take it anymore. Deep down I knew he was in pain and whether it meant we were apart or not, I couldn’t continue this game. I entered the stable, leaving Drake outside with the horses.

  “Xander? Are you ok?”

  He climbed off his horse. “I’m fine. Go have fun with your boyfriend. Maybe he’ll help you find your next billionaire.”

  “No! How could you think that?”

  “Get out of here. Your boyfriend is waiting for you.”

  “He’s not���” I stopped myself from saying the truth. I turned around to go, I didn’t want to fight. I really just wanted to see him.

  As I walked towards the door, Xander quickly caught up to me, grabbed me and brought me into a corner. He looked down at me and I saw his eyes soften briefly. I reached up, putting my hands on his closely croppe
d beard and pulled him down to kiss me.

  He returned my kiss and pressed me against the stable wall. I wrapped my arms around him and held onto him tight as we kissed, our lips moving hungrily and I softly sucked on his bottom lip.

  Everything was perfect until he pulled away then walked out. Stunned I took a minute to respond but by the time I ran to the door and looked outside, he was gone.

  “What happened?” Drake asked. “I saw him come out, he looked miserable.”

  I burst into tears. I didn’t want to make Xander miserable. It was bad enough I felt miserable. I buried my face in my hands and turned to go back into the stable, not wanting Drake to see me cry but he grabbed hold of my arm.

  “Let’s go. I think there’s more you have to tell me. I’m taking you home.”

  As we walked back to his car, I looked for Xander but didn’t see him anywhere. I collapsed in my seat as all the emotions of everything that happened in the past two months caught up with me.

  Drake listened to the entire story as he drove. He held my hand as we took the elevator up to my apartment and came inside with me.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump everything on you like that.”

  “Stop. Go put on something more comfortable. I’ll make you some tea.”

  I nodded and went to my bedroom and got changed. I came out with my hair up in a pony tail and in an old pair of sweats and a faded sweatshirt I always wore when I was down.

  Drake started the fireplace and had a mug of hot water waiting for me on the cocktail table with tea bags.

  “I’m guessing this isn’t your first girl meltdown?”

  He laughed. “You’d be surprised how many of my dates end up with the woman in love with someone else. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you from Hawaii. I guess I didn’t make the connection because I could tell how much he cared about you and this didn’t make sense. I understand him though.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes. I was always jealous of what Xander and Darcy had. I’m an old fashioned man and maybe it’s from being surrounded by movies all my life but I always had this idea of how special love should be and what it should look like. That’s what they had. But Ashley, that’s what I saw in him when he saw you in the conference room in Hawaii. Not exactly the same, but love. I’m sure of it. You have to talk to him.”

  “I don’t know what to say. Besides nothing I say will change his mind.”

  “Fine, I’m not interfering any further. Regardless, I need to fire you.”

  “What?! Now?! Are you kidding me??”

  “Listen.” He stared at me before continuing. “I can’t continue our arrangement knowing that its hurting not only you, but my friend. I didn’t realize how serious his feelings for you were or I wouldn’t have played with him. I would like to make you a different offer though. My museum needs a curator. Any interest in that job? Take some time to think about it.”

  “I don’t need to think, I know I’d love it!”

  Chapter Eight

  Xander

  Weeks had past since Drake and Ashley had visited. Drake had phoned me several times but I didn’t return his calls. He was the last person I wanted to speak to.

  After leaving Ashley in the stable, I knew I needed to face my demons. I hired an interior designer and redid the master bedroom.

  None of the old furnishings were used. The room was painted a dark green that I felt suited the large area better. The style of the bedroom became casual and relaxed instead of the antiques I always found stuffy.

  After the redesign of the master bedroom was complete, I moved in. While I looked back fondly at my time in the cottage, the large house was my home and I was ready to fight and do what needed to be done.

  Unfortunately she was still there. Everywhere I looked I saw her. I hired the designer to back and redo the rest of the rooms too. All of them except for the study. It was always her favorite so I couldn’t touch it. I wouldn’t allow myself to touch it.

  The rest of the furniture was removed and would be sold to dealers. The entire interior was painted so the home would have a more modern feel despite the antique crown molding. For the first time, the house felt like it belonged to me.

  And yet she was still there. I couldn’t shake her. Her ghost haunted more each passing day. I imagined her eating in the kitchen or running down the hallway.

  I envisioned her in my new bedroom, deliciously naked on my bed with her luscious curves. I remembered how she looked in the morning when she woke.

  I couldn’t escape her. She was everywhere I looked. Everything reminded me of her. The memories were so vivid I could almost smell her.

  I began doing the things she did and appreciating the small things she loved. If I couldn’t get away from her I planned to embrace what she did. So every morning I sat in the second overstuffed chair. I pictured her with her hair wild, curves covered up by her robe, and holding her mug of tea.

  I woke every morning on time to see the sunrise. It was spectacular. The oranges and reds the sun cast while it was down, then turn brighter into yellows as it reached a high enough point in the sky.

  Then the morning came that I realized I was out of rooms to redecorate and her ghost was still there. I couldn’t deny it to myself anymore. I loved her. I still fell for her. Despite how much I tried not to.

  All these years I felt guilty over Darcy and judged myself based on what I thought would make her happy. Darcy didn’t haunted Jefferson Manor though, Ashley did. And I knew what I needed to do. I needed to make it known to the girl I loved that I wanted more than just her ghost in my house. I needed her there too. I was incomplete without her.

  Chapter Nine

  Ashley

  I was so grateful to Drake for having the curator position. Not only was it a dream come true, but having to plan the grand opening of the museum came at a great time. I was so busy with work, I barely had any time to obsess about Xander.

  The day had been especially busy with the exhibits. A constant flow of trucks came and went from the museum, as they delivered old movie props and stage sets in their crates from around the country. I wore jeans and a plum v-neck sweater because I never knew when I’d have to get dirty or move an old prop around.

  As I pushed an errant lock of hair back behind my ear, I heard another delivery enter the large empty room. I didn’t even bother to look up from my clipboard. Deliveries were coming in faster than I could keep track. I knew I’d have to stay late to make sure everything had arrived and was unpacked appropriately.

  “Ashley, I want to discuss the arrangement of a display. Do you have time now?” Drake called from the doorway that lead to the special exhibit room. He wore a navy suit, his hair was tousled, and I couldn’t help but think it looked like he was up to something.

  “Sure, I have time. I didn’t think we were putting anything into that room though.”

  “Just come. Don’t start questioning me.” He gave me an annoyed look.

  As I walked over to the room, I highlighted the items I didn’t see arrive yet. The day was far from over but I requested all deliveries to be made that day so I needed to make sure nothing was delayed or lost in transit. I stopped in front of Drake, able to only see the pant legs of his charcoal grey suit with my head still down in my spreadsheet.

  “Its funny I thought you were wearing navy.”

  “I am,” he said from behind me.

  Confused, I looked up and the clipboard fell from my hands, sending sheets of paper everywhere. Xander stood in front of me.

  The sight of him sent my heart into flips. The butterflies awoke in my belly. I quickly passed my hands over my hair trying to smooth it, then to my sweater as I wished I had on a nicer, more figure flattering outfit. Xander pulled my nervous hands from me and I felt the same electricity I always felt from him course through my body.

  “Stop, you look beautiful.” As he pulled me into the exhibit room, I realized he was wearing the same charcoal grey suit and ice-blue tie
he wore when we met.

  The plain white room was now filled with all kinds of flowers. I couldn’t believe I had been so busy that I didn’t notice their scent before. There were flowers hanging down from the rafters, in vases on the floor and on stands, there were even flowers floating in large open bowls. I stood in awe.

  “What is all this?”

  “This is me trying to right a terrible wrong.” Still holding my hands, he pulled me further into the room and handed me a single red rose surrounded by pretty purple and yellow wildflowers.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Ashley, I’ve been a fool. I was so scared of falling for you and then losing you, I didn’t realize I already had fallen for you and was pushing you away.” He stepped forward and my heart pounded faster in my chest. “There are so many things I want to say, but I’m not sure how.” He stared into my eyes and I felt myself lost in his blue eyes. “Can I take you to dinner tonight? I can’t promise you a moonlight night on a Hawaiian beach, but I guarantee you the best meal you’ve ever had.” He smiled and touched my cheek. “Please say yes.”

  I nodded, unable to speak.

  “Thank you.” He pulled me close and kissed my forehead, leaving his warm lips pressed against my skin which sent shivers down my spine. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he whispered.

  Chapter Ten

  Xander

  I owed Drake. If I hadn’t listened to him I might have lost Ashley for good. Once he explained their arrangement and convinced me that I still had a chance with her, I knew I needed to do something extravagant.

  I would do anything for her. She was all I needed and all I wanted. Ashley brought me back to life after a long time of feeling dead.

  After leaving the museum, I went straight to the supermarket. It had been a long time since I stepped foot in one but when I promised Ashley the best meal of her life, I meant it. And I planned to cook it.

  I bought romaine lettuce, eggs, anchovies and a few other things to make Caesar salad. Next I stopped by the seafood department and had them peel and devein jumbo sized shrimp. I bought flour because I planned to make my own fettuccine, and then heavy cream and parmesan to make an Alfredo sauce. Lastly I bought bittersweet and semisweet chocolate for the chocolate souffl�� I planned on making.